First lesson- read, read, read! Being a first time mother, or a mother of five, is the most overwhelming responsibility ever designed by the Lord. I have learned that being knowledgeable about any and everything is priceless. The internet has hundreds of excellent resources on everything a mother needs to know. Learning is empowering and knowledge is more valuable than gold. Read an article about a topic and then read five more from another perspective. I have learned not to repeat an account told to me by another person until I have researched that topic extensively.
No matter how busy your life gets, you can always find the time to read and educate yourself. You can always find the time to learn more. I have gladly accepted that my top priority now is Levi. I have the massive responsibility of fostering a thriving environment that promotes his physical, emotional, and mental well-being at all times. Every decision that I make about him is crucial. I’m not going to take my responsibility lightly. Nor am I going to make decisions about his well-being without researching the facts first. Sure it’s time consuming. Sure there are other things I may feel like doing. But when I look over the course of my entire life, I want to know that I tried my very best to make the wisest decisions possible when it involved my son.
Second lesson- I learned that I will never be on time ever again! No matter how early I get up, I can never arrive to my destination on time. I will get up in the morning at 5:30 to be ready to leave for work at 7:00. I think I have left the house one time since August at 7:00! I’m lucky if I leave the house before 7:20. It doesn’t matter if I am dressed and ready to go at 6:00. Inevitably, something will arise with Levi, with my car, with the universe, and I won’t be able to run out the door until I am thirty minutes late!
I have learned to give myself plenty of grace when it comes to getting everything packed up and ready to go, only to walk out the door without my keys, locking myself out. I can't beat myself up over it. I have learned to simply laugh and carry on. That really cute shirt will get barfed on. Boys will pee on you when you change their diapers. You learn to laugh and keep trucking. I have come to terms that I will never be early again for anything....ever. I will be late, but it's not the end of the world.
Third lesson- people will tell you their advice on child-rearing no matter if you want it or not. Simply smile and keep your mouth shut! I have learned that some of the most well-intentioned people have some of the most ignorant advice on the planet. It’s not worth the time or energy to argue. I have learned to take all the advice I have been given, think about it long enough to process its worth, and then either throw it into the dumpster portion of my brain never to be thought of again, or file it into the compartments of my brain known as “The Mother Load.” The Mother Load houses all the most helpful, useful facts. Every mom has a bag full of tricks. This is The Mother Load portion of my brain. I have learned not to even think twice about foolish advice.
The fourth lesson- do not compare your baby with others. Everyone knows that one person. She is the One- Upper. She always has a bigger, better story to tell. If your child started crawling at eight months, hers started at seven. If your little one sleeps for five hours at a time, hers sleeps for nine. It drives even the kindest soul nuts! Don’t be that person. Don’t compare your child to others. This lesson is true for other situations as well. Realize that every child is unique and his own person.
Levi is a small baby. I have struggled with his small weight for a while now. He has always been in the fifth or so percentile for weight. He is healthy as an ox and eats a variety of food. The doctor isn’t worried and I have finally convinced myself not to be worried either. I do not need to compare my child to others. Every human is different! I can’t make a square peg fit into a round hole. This has been a very hard lesson for me to learn, but it’s such an important one to remind myself often!
And the fifth lesson that I have learned being a first time mom is that no one is Super Woman. No woman should be either. I have learned that nobody has it all together, no matter how well they pretend. I have learned not to try to do everything on my own. If there are other people in your life who want to help, let them! If the house isn’t clean, the clothes aren’t washed, and you haven’t showered in days – it’s okay! Breastfeeding a two week old every three hours is much more important than a clean kitchen. Mothers should not run themselves ragged trying to do it all. Delegate tasks out to those who can help. Find time to do things for yourself. Sleep when your newborn is sleeping. Your company visiting you will understand! Take an extra long bath to relax your body and mind. Do the little things that you enjoy. I have learned that cleanliness is not next to godliness; sanity is next to godliness!
What about you? If you had to describe your top three, or even five, tips/advice/lessons learned as a mother, what would they be? What advice would you tell a first time mother?